Stretch that dollar bill

So the title may not be exactly appropriate as I live in England but I think it applies to anyone on limited funds. Being poor sucks!

I managed to go shopping today but only for my piggy so hair is still lovely and overgrown, great. Basically for the next week and a half I'm broke as can be which is not fun. At least I've got The Hunger Games and The Avengers coming on dvd so I can be cured of a few hours of relentless boredom.
Currently I'm watching some Arrested Development then off to bed, not a very interesting post as I've got nothing interesting to say.
I will make a post about anxiety next I think.

For whoever is out there, till tomorrow.

heather
xoxo

Gleefully Awkward Aches

So the past few days have been uneventful, apart from burrowing out my living room to buy cookies and coke to get over the pains from being a woman. My whole body aches not just from the boredom but from the constant upright fetal position I sit in daily.

So how did I spend my day I hear you ask? Well mostly on YouTube and then watching the first episode from the new season of Glee, which I might add I was stupidly excited to see and it didn't let me down. Then after 42 minutes or so I was back from the euphoric happiness to the four walls of the living room only moving every few hours to suppress the cramp in my knees and feet.

Now I sit in that same upright fetal position watching Awkward my second favourite MTV show (behind Teen Wolf of course) then its off to bed.
Tomorrow should be fun, actually leaving my house for air to do some shopping oh and especially to get some dye. Goodbye grown out bright orange, hello Megan Fox brunette (i hope).

For whoever is out there, till next time

heather
xoxo

Where to start . . .

People always say writing your feelings down helps you to get things off your mind or out of your system. I just need a place to think and exhale. I don't really know how this is going to turn out, maybe just me spouting all my insecurities out online for whoever to see or maybe it will actually give me a purpose.

Well if you must know i'm nineteen, no job, good qualifications, great friends oh and course I forgot to mention the crippling anxiety that has burdened my life for 18 months now. I live with my mum and sister which to some people might sound like a hoot but reality its just a lot of PMS and domino's takeout. My sister is a strange one, wouldn't change her for the world but she has some serious split personality issues. One minute nice as pie the next like a nuclear bomb! My mum and I have got a lot closer since my anxiety hit as she has had to help me with many things but she is a worrier whether that be about money or just my sister and my future. She is stressed out but I suppose being a single mum does that.
I'm single, never been on a date, never had a boyfriend, actually don't think anyone has ever liked me like that. Which yes means i'm a virgin which as of right now doesn't bother me but in certain situations with my friends it can get a bit awkward because they can chat about boyfriend or guy problems and i just exclude myself before I get embarrassed as I don't really fit in with that topic. But being a virgin doesn't mean i'm totally oblivious to sex which my sister seams to think that if your a virgin you don't know anything about it, I'm not a 60 year old Catholic nun, i'm a teenager living in the 21st century of course I know about it more than she would care to know, its plastered in our faces whether that be on the TV or in magazines, everyone knows something or other. She also thinks i'm going to grow up and have 700 cats (she is probably right there!).
I would say i'm not the typical nineteen year old, I haven't met anyone who is in a similar situation to mine so I guess I would call myself different. But as my idol Kurt Cobain says "people laugh at me because i'm different, I laugh at them because their all the same".

Maybe in a few days I will talk more about my anxiety but right now its 3am and my eyes are slowly closing, and all i can hear is my guinea pig George is munching on hay in the background.
For whoever is out there, this is me.

heather
xoxo