Monday, 1 October 2012


Right so I haven't written anything in 2 weeks, mainly because nothing happened but also because I'm tired of explaining myself but I will do a quick summary of how my anxiety started, my symptoms, and what I'm doing to help it.

A week after my 18th birthday I soon realized I couldn't leave my house to go to 6th form, it was literally like someone flicked a switch. I was so nervous every morning and after a month or so of going through the same anguish every morning of getting ready, panicking, crying and having a dodgy belly I eventually was too exhausted to go to school and just wanted to curl up in a ball in my room. So I only went in to collect work or sit exams and then I got my a-levels and left. After school was over for good and my friends were preparing for university I would avoid most situations if that meant leaving my house as I was paranoid about needing the toilet in public.

It got to last October when I went the doctors after being previously told it was a faze, She realized I couldn't carry on this way so she put me on 20mg of Citalopram and told me to try and find someone to talk to. I spent 8 sessions with my mums friend who is training to be a counselor which was good just to talk over my struggles but nothing really happened.

My doctor then referred me to a programme called Beating the Blues which was online Cognitive Behavioral Therapy it helped and gave me different ways that I could combat my anxiety but I felt I couldn't relate to most of the problems given. I am now on another form of CBT but this time its one to one so I can talk about problems that relate to me and what symptoms I have. My doctor also put my medication up to 30mg which I have found works better to deal with my anxiety.

I'm still trying to work on getting myself out of the house more and my problem is timed appointments which I still get very nervous for even if I've been there before. But on the plus side I can go to my local shops, and make trips in the car to family's houses and shopping centers with my mum. Most of my family thought it would go away in a few months and I could get a job by now but a year later I'm still trying to deal and live with this in my own way and hopefully sometime in the future I will be able to get a job and get there without any worry.

I hope this is informative enough, comment if you have any questions or queries :)


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